The Office Quotes

"Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Millions of families suffer every year." - Dwight K Schrute

"I. DECLARE. BANKRUPCY." - Michael Scott

"That's what she said." — Michael Scott

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any 
subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." - Michael Scott

"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised." - Michael Scott

"Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave." - Creed Bratton

"I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different." - Kelly Kapoor

"The worst thing about prison was the dementors." - Michael Scott

"Do you think doing alcohol is cool?" - Michael Scott

"DID I STUTTER?" - Stanley Hudson

"I have very little patience for stupidity." - Kevin Malone

"How the turntables..." — Michael Scott

"Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend 
too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me." - Michael 

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott

"I'm Beyoncé, Always." - Michael Scott

"I'm not superstitious but I'm a little stitious." - Michael Scott

"Who is Justice Beaver.?" Dwight K Schrute

"Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica." - Jim Halpert

“There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.” — Michael Scott

"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." — Michael Scott

"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." — Michael Scott

"Call me as ASAP as possible." — Michael Scott

"You guys, I'm like really smart now. You don't even know." — Kelly Kapoor

"If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person." — Angela

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." — Andy Bernard

"Why are you the way that you are?" — Michael Scott

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. — Wayne Gretzky" — Michael Scott

"Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam." — Pam Beesly

"I feel God in this Chili's tonight." — Pam Beesly